All 30 Songs On The Beatles’ White Album, Ranked

Let me say up front that The White Album (officially known as The Beatles and released this week 50 years ago) is my favorite Beatles album. I love nearly every song on it. However, as it will quickly become clear, some are better than others. In honor of the album’s new Super Deluxe 50th anniversary release (out now), here’s my ranking of the songs, which is the correct one. Don’t even think about disagreeing!

30) “Wild Honey Pie”

There are no bad songs on The White Album. But this grating pass at psychedelia, one that repeatedly bounces the chorus of the superior “Honey Pie” (found on Side Four), doesn’t contribute much and should’ve been left to discover on a reissue 50 years later, if at all.

29) “Revolution 9”

Say what you will, defend it though you might, “Revolution 9” is horrifying. And not great. Interesting? Yes, maybe. But hey, at least we can all agree it’s better than “Wild Honey Pie.”

28) “Piggies”

Some real good cello chops here and solid harpsichord action on this George cut. I dunno, man. I think I’m too American for this.

27) “Savoy Truffle”

Ain’t no denying this is a groove. Those horns weigh like 500 pounds and yet somehow float lighter than air. I never reach for it, though, but maybe that says something about me, something that’ll make sense when I turn, like, 35? I can wait.

26) “The Continuing Story of Bungalow Bill”

A little too sing-songy to be truly transcendent, innit? Though it’s still a fun group singalong, should you ever need one of those. No offense to Yoko.

25) “Why Don’t We Do It in the Road?”

Definitely the best song about a dude watching two monkeys knock furry paws in India that I’ve ever heard. In a league all its own.

24) “Don’t Pass Me By”

The sole Ringo credit on The White Album, this nighttime carnival ride is fun, and sometimes I even love it. Other times, I wonder if I’m just still high from the playful euphoria of “Rocky Raccoon” a track before.

23) “Everybody’s Got Something To Hide Except Me and My Monkey”

One time when I was 20, I cranked up my crappy Fender practice amp and blasted this through my Epiphone Les Paul on a late summer evening. It was cathartic as hell. I imagine that’s how it felt in the studio, too, and the intimate way the percussion is mic’d is proto-ASMR goodness. Still, there might be too much talk of monkeys on this album.

22) “Cry Baby Cry”

How are there not more prominent indie covers of this? That chord progression, the creepy piano strikes, the crunching lead fills—somebody like Arcade Fire or could absolutely nail this one. It rules though it’s never been a favorite, even with the wonderful “Oliver James” inspiration hidden track added on at the end.

21) “Glass Onion”

Beatles fundamentalists will chide me for not ranking it higher. Beatles haters will chide me for not ranking it lower. Here are the facts: Even with the self-referential tricksy language (and even if The Walrus really was Paul), this one’s just alright. That papery drum sound haunts me.

20) “Good Night”

The perfect way to close a perfect album, this one will get bumped up to top-10 territory if I ever become a dad. The “new” piano- and guitar-led versions on the Super Deluxe edition are magnificent and make me want to hug everyone in the world (with some notable exceptions).

19) “Birthday”

An immortal riff coloring a song all about the simple joys of sharing a b-day, this is still only the 19th best song on one of the best albums of all time—which must mean we’re in solid-gold territory. Also, shout out that bridge breakdown for inventing the entirety of ’70s arena rock.

18) “Helter Skelter”

Speaking of invention, would Led Zeppelin as we know them exist without this one? Or AC/DC? Or the entire then-nascent genre of heavy metal? Fuck Charles Manson. “Helter Skelter” is metal as hell on its own. It’ll give ya blistahs.

17) “Honey Pie”

More of Paul’s “granny music,” this one hits like a weighted blanket on a cozy night in. Unlike another beloved pair of songs about gals smiling for the camera in a glamour profession, this one’s light on sleaze. It’s pure fantasy.

16) “Back in the U.S.S.R.”

An embarrassingly true thing about me is that my first exposure to this song was when Sigourney Weaver, posing as a Russian femme fatale to scam Gene Hackman out of money, sang it in the film Heartbreakers. That did not color its placement on this list, I assure you.

15) “Yer Blues”

“Feel so suicidal” is not a phrase I ever thought I’d hear in a Beatles song, and yet, we have this rollicking, off-kilter 12-bar stomp where John repeats how he wants to die because he’s lonely. Incredible, really.

14) “Julia”

John’s tender tribute to his mother is magnificent without being flashy, heartfelt without spilling into goo. And that chord progression is an all-timer.

13) “Mother Nature’s Son”

Sometimes I think about the time Jack White played this acoustically at the White House for the Obamas (and Paul) and just smile.

12) “Long, Long, Long”

Not quite George’s masterpiece but not far from it either. Notable, too, is that this is what an enlightened guy like him got out of the band’s legendary stay in India in early 1968 versus, like, what a miserable rake John becomes on “I’m So Tired,” conceived on the same trip.

11) “Sexy Sadie”

Swaggering and shit-talking, this one’s a kiss-off to the Maharishi (count the syllables and stresses, then remember the title) that John found himself at odds with on that India trek. “Well, if you’re so cosmic, you’ll know why,” John told him about his eventual exit. Later, Radiohead cribbed the piano melody for the “Karma Police” chorus. Turn, turn, turn.

10) “Ob-La-Di, Ob-La-Da”

If you’re more of a John guy (or a George gal), the placement of this treacly Paul tune is surely a personal affront to your very being. I’m Paul all the way, mostly because I think he’s simply the best songwriter. This evergreen gem gets high marks for being a proper narrative packaged in all the wonderful music-hall piano and brass you could ever desire. And if you strip it all away, it’s just as essential—trust me.

09) “Martha My Dear”

McCartney gonna McCartney. McCartney gonna pen playful, heartfelt odes to his sheepdog and make ’em sound, like Wayne Coyne recently pointed out, like their own childhoods and also the future. Yet another minor miracle on an album stacked with them.

08) “I’m So Tired”

Two minutes of the ne plus ultra, and then it’s gone—just like “And Your Bird Can Sing” and “Norwegian Wood” before it. Paul is very much alive, and this John composition, which pairs nicely with Revolver’s “I’m Only Sleeping,” ends too quickly. But it’s endlessly replayable.

07) “Blackbird”

The foot tap was apparently mic’d separately. Did you know that? What a wonderful world.

06) “Happiness Is a Warm Gun”

The one that launched the “Bohemian Rhapsody”s of the world. The one that completely works as a shameless centerpiece that almost, almost justifies a certain movie musical’s existence. The one that was apparently George’s favorite. A very, very good one indeed.

05) “Rocky Raccoon”

Written by Paul as a pastiche of the ’60s folk explosion (complete with references to Gideon’s Bible), “Rocky Raccoon” ended up a whimsical adventure all its own. Buy me a beer some night and I’ll probably tell you it’s my favorite.

04) “Revolution 1”

One of my deepest-held beliefs is that the drunkenly cozy, Christmasy album version is superior to the single by a factor of 60 million. But as both reveal, the arrangement hardly matters—the song underneath it is pure bluesy bliss.

03) “While My Guitar Gently Weeps”

This song should be №1, shouldn’t it? But also, they all should be №1. Part of George’s eternal frustration playing second fiddle to Paul and John (as they quarreled among themselves for first) was that he could write songs as gorgeously realized as this, songs that still sound incredible when stripped to a skeleton, and it wasn’t enough for them. On The White Album, though, with their support and guest fills from his eternal pal Eric Clapton, this song achieves its nonpareil form. Praise George.

02) “I Will”

I’ll never say it better than how I said it in 2012: “Of all the shiny jewels in Paul McCartney’s crown, ‘I Will’ is perhaps the prettiest.” I hedged then, but I shouldn’t have. The song is divine. John and George knew it and (in my mind) were happy to just play maracas and and bongos in the background. Just listen to it already. And then listen again.

01) “Dear Prudence”

At the risk of going full dancing about architecture here, you know it’s the best. We all know. We’ve known for half a century now. There are peeking-over-the-fence fantasies from time to time, sure, but this is it. It’s always been it. Won’t you come out to play?